PUNS

Puns, I'm crazy about them. While most people hear one and let out a groan or a light chuckle, chances are you will find me still laughing 5 minutes later, and then again when I remember it again later in the day. I can't help it, wordplay is funny, end of story.

I would like to share two of my favourites with you and as a frame of reference, I heard the second one approximately 5 years ago and I'm still laughing just as hard as I did then.

1.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.


2.
The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Side note: There are no puns in my introduction paragraph, I know, I'm disappointed in myself as well.